Back in college a friend sent me this note

Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way.

I was surprised and a bit flattered. He was nice and charming and it seemed like he was sending the right signals.

For a moment there, I believed him. I thought that what we had was special. That we were really good friends, that it looked like things were moving somewhere.

What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

And then I realized that all the other guys I knew weren’t this sentimental, this needy. It was part of what I liked about him; he was understanding and accepting of my faults and foibles. But it was also strange.

I didn’t know what to think. Did he like me or not? If he did, why the weird behavior? Why couldn’t he do what other guys did and just ask me out?

I wondered if this was typical of him. Does he, as a rule, have many close girl friends? Did he do this to all the girls or was it just me? And guess what? It turns out that he was “building relationships” with two other girls. That was insulting. Worse, what if I was backup?

We drifted apart.

I met him again recently. Turns out he did like me back then, but didn’t know how to say it. I liked him then too. Time and perspective have let me admit to myself what I was too proud to say back then. But the point is moot. I’m not into him anymore and he’s not into me. He’s into God.

Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.

The quote is attributed to Pedro Arrupe, S.J. (1907-1991), Superior General of the Society of Jesus 1961-1984

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9 thoughts on “

  1. Hahah! He would’ve been okay if it weren’t for the part where he was “building relationships,” and I use that term very loosely, with other girls. The other girls found out too, and got mad.ย  (Gee, I wonder why?)
    Most girls prefer someone less generous with their hearts, I suppose.ย  Besides, he’s God’s now.

  2. Divine Justice? Possibly. lately I have been accused of quite the opposite. Medicine is really becoming my asexual Ivory tower.

  3. Pickiness can be a good thing. (It is also the reason why I’m single, still).

    I’ve wondered many times what it could be like, being less picky and all. But one friend keeps telling me, it’s better to be picky than to deal with a lot of unpleasantness when things don’t work out.

    Sometimes I wish I don’t look so far ahead. It makes for a rather boring life. :p

  4. What was that proverb about being cursed with an exciting life?

    Pickiness is sadly neccisary for us, though. I mean there are alot of unusual demands placed on us, and that means that those demands will be placed on anyone that we have any sort of relationship with to the degree of our relationships. Our friends see us less than either of us would like, significant others are even more effected. If we get married before we get out of school, what about children GAH! Its alot to consider, and makes pickiness essential. It makes me very wary to date at all. That is something that is disturbing to my mother, and others. I see this as being a huge part of what gives my life meaning, it’s a voctional thing. Maybe at the end of the day I’m not meant to marry, but I don’t doubt for a second that I’m meant for a white coat (even if I’ll probably never wear it because of my tendancy to lose things). Looking so far ahead has it’s draw backs, but it is still an exciting life. Between the pages of the books and the tests that we take are moments where we are really doing something great, and because we are looking ahead, greater things will come still.

    In the end, I see life as a balancing act. To be lived well, you can’t go too wildly to one extreme or the other. Each step should be measured, but taken confidently and there is little room for looking back once you have stepped out. That, and you really have to watch out for 4 year olds with sticks.

    Tim

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