Back in college a friend sent me this note
Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way.
I was surprised and a bit flattered. He was nice and charming and it seemed like he was sending the right signals.
For a moment there, I believed him. I thought that what we had was special. That we were really good friends, that it looked like things were moving somewhere.
What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
And then I realized that all the other guys I knew weren’t this sentimental, this needy. It was part of what I liked about him; he was understanding and accepting of my faults and foibles. But it was also strange.
I didn’t know what to think. Did he like me or not? If he did, why the weird behavior? Why couldn’t he do what other guys did and just ask me out?
I wondered if this was typical of him. Does he, as a rule, have many close girl friends? Did he do this to all the girls or was it just me? And guess what? It turns out that he was “building relationships” with two other girls. That was insulting. Worse, what if I was backup?
We drifted apart.
I met him again recently. Turns out he did like me back then, but didn’t know how to say it. I liked him then too. Time and perspective have let me admit to myself what I was too proud to say back then. But the point is moot. I’m not into him anymore and he’s not into me. He’s into God.
Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.
The quote is attributed to Pedro Arrupe, S.J. (1907-1991), Superior General of the Society of Jesus 1961-1984