Bob Ong’s 21 Rules of Love

Words to live by, written by an author who maintain his anonymity.  Wikipedia has it right.  Filipinos love his work because they reflect modern Filipino culture, i.e. what it means to be Pinoy in this day and age.

I have his books, but have yet to read them.  He writes in the vernacular, a language I still have trouble reading, despite having lived in the Philippines for most of my life.  His 21 Rules of Love are short, sweet, and if you can read in the original, like bullets to the heart.

The format:  Rule of Love in boldPoor english translation in italics.

  1. “Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka niya.”
    If you do not love someone who loves you, do not give him reasons to love you more.
  2. “Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba.”
    Do not let go of someone you cannot bear the thought of someone else having him.
  3. “Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.”
    Don’t hold on to something if you know you’re just going to dump him eventually.
  4. “Huwag na huwag kang hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.”
    Don’t ever hold on to another, if you already have someone in hand.
  5. “Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.”
    It’s like an elevator.  Why insist on squeezing yourself in when there’s no room for you?  The stairs is nearby, waiting for your attention.
  6. “Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din.”
    (in honor of my new hometown) Man who waits for roast duck to fly into mouth must wait very, very long time
  7. “Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.”
    If you love someone who doesn’t want you back, leave him be.  Who knows, you might not want him in the future.  He just had a head start.
  8. “Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.”
    Dump him when you’re not happy.  There is no remedy for stupidity except moving on.
  9. “Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na hindi mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang.”
    Don’t complain if the one whom you love doesn’t love you back.  There will also be people who love you whom you do not love.  Just call it quits.
  10. “Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo ung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga ung una.”
    If you love two men, choose the second.  You wouldn’t have started loving the second if you had really loved the first.
  11. “Hindi porke’t madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo.. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.”
    It doesn’t mean that the person you most often talk to, IM, hang out with, or text likes you that way and that you’re going to have a relationship.  There are people who happen to be friendly, sweet, a flirt, or wants the ego boost of you falling for him (aka asshole).
  12. “Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman.. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka.”
    Take your time choosing a lover.  In three, five, ten years, your standards will change and you will realize that choosing someone based on looks or sex appeal is not the right thing to do. The most important thing is what’s inside.  Trust me, as time passes, the best looking man will look like bread.
  13. “Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority.”
    Sometimes you still have to wait despite having booked in advance, as you are not the priority.
  14. “Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw ung bida sa script na pinili niya.”
    It’s hard to star in someone else’s life, especially if you aren’t the leading lady in the script he’s chosen.
  15. “Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo.”
    Do you know how far the distance between two people with their backs to each other?  You need to travel the world to face someone to whom you’ve turned your back on.
  16. “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala.”
    Better to fail in doing something than to succeed in doing nothing.
  17. “Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan.”
    Just because you understand something doesn’t make it the truth.  Just because you don’t understand something makes it a lie.
  18. “Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, huwag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lang yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!”
    Don’t blame your heart if you hurt yourself loving someone you shouldn’t have.  It beats to circulate your blood.  Don’t blame your hypothalamus either, for controlling your emotions.  Why?  Mother of God.  Don’t blame your organs for your plight in life.  Remember: you will only be happy if you learn to accept that it is not your heart, brain, liver or stomach that has caused you pain, but yourself.
  19. “Pakawalan mo ung mga bagay na nakakasakit sayo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo.”
    Let go of those that hurt you even though they make you happy.  Time will come when happiness has left and pain is the only thing that remains.
  20. “Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo.”
    Use your heart to take care of those near you.  Use your brain to take care of yourself.
  21. “Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal…nakakatakot mahulog…at kapag nahulog ka, it’s either by accident or talagang tanga ka.
    Love is like a sewer.  It’s terrifying to fall in love.  And when you do, it’s either by accident, or you were really stupid.
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8 thoughts on “Bob Ong’s 21 Rules of Love

  1. bob love says:

    Yesterday I discovered that my girl friend is double date which was pain me seriously. Please should I continew with her or I should let her go

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